[Subtitles by danielsangeo]
Okay, I didn't get a good look;
so the real question here:
Is that helicopter being
piloted by that Barney guy?
Actually, hold that. Can I stay down here?
No, I'd have to eat the aliens.
That's not fucking happening.
So, uh... hey, I have an idea.
This is the most basic ruse there is
but these cops seem to have
more bullets than brains.
HEY! OVER HERE! I'M A LIGHTNING BUG!
[machine gun fire]
That's good! That's good!
Just keep firing there! Keep
firing! Maybe you got me!
[machine gun fire]
Oh! You bastard!
I don't think that did anything.
Well you win this time,
Barney...if that IS your real name.
Okay, I don't KNOW that's him,
but I sort of sense it, y'know?
I mean, he sent me in the
canals, I know that much.
Wow. More bullets. I really could
just stay here firing at him,
but I think that's what he wants.
See this is what makes
me the last man standing,
because I'm not just standing here.
Well, that and being bullet-proof...
...except for my head! Kleiner...
Okay, so I guess I really am
trying to get lost at this point
because if I can't find
me, they can't find me.
Well, that's actually not really true,
but there's probably a correlation.
There's a lot of junk down here.
I don't know much about this society,
but I think they make it too hard to do
trash pickup. Maybe they charge too much,
or knowing this place, you have to present
three forms of ID to throw away a can.
Oh! Maybe that's what that cop was
doing--making sure I was certified!
DRINKING SODA COULD'VE SAVED MY LIFE!
Okay, this is boarded off. That's good.
If I'm lucky, this won't be on a blueprint
so they'll think I've ceased to exist.
What the fuck? MAN: Get in here, quick!
[stuttering]
MAN: Civil Protection is onto us.
MAN: We're tearing up the
Railroad, covering our tracks.
Well, you didn't try to kill me...
So you've passed the first test.
One of many.
MAN: Looks like you're going
to be the last one through.
MAN: Be glad you're not the
guy they're looking for.
Yeah, fuck him, right? MAN: Poor
bastard wouldn't stand a chance.
MAN: Sounds like they're calling
in every CP unit in City 17.
No, they have a few less units now.
MAN: Now they're flooding the
areas up ahead with manhacks.
Yeah, what does that mean?
MAN: Better get going before
they sweep through here.
Yeah, welcome to my world.
OKAY, I DON'T WANT TO HIT YOU, BUT...!
Hey! That's great! I don't
think I shot you even once!
MAN: Thanks for your help!
MAN: Look, it isn't safe here.
MAN: I'll give you some supplies to keep
you going, then you really gotta go.
Oh supplies, huh? I like supplies.
Like opioids, specifically. I'm not too
picky right now, just not stimulants.
I'm-- Oh, that's just for you, huh?
Well...I don't blame you,
but if you get me high, you pass all
the tests. We can skip the rest of it.
What's up here? This is where
you keep the good stuff, right?
Wow! Okay. I think I've literally seen
more ammo packs than soda cans by now.
This is kind of cozy...
for living in a sewer.
I'd care more if you had food.
Actually, I'm not that hungry now.
My stomach's feeling...challenged.
Okay, the big boxes. What do
we have here? Supply time.
They're empty! They're all
empty! There's nothing here!
YOU SAID I COULD HAVE SUPPLIES,
BUT ALL YOU HAVE IS AN EMPTY
POT THAT YOU WEAR ON YOUR HEAD!
Okay, you do have bullets;
I'll give you that,
although I don't know
if I can carry any more.
Ah, okay. The small package.
This has got to be it, right?
Are you kidding me? It's empty.
"Yes, please help yourself to
my wide supply of empty boxes
"and a glowing breathalyzer.
"And bullets. I naturally have lots of those
"because I have no gun to shoot them with."
I think his mind's baked.
He's just gathering random
things and calling them supplies.
Listen, Johnny Appleseed,
you're low on supplies.
Oh, you're having a bad trip. I can
see that. Okay, I'll go easy on you.
Oh yeah. So this is a manhack, huh? It's
just a flying circular saw, isn't it?
This isn't what I thought at all! This
is redneck technology! It's obvious.
I can tell you right now
this was invented by
some guy duct-taping a circular saw
to a remote controlled helicopter
to keep people off his property.
Wait, what? You're not coming?
You just said I'm the last man
through, you're shutting this down.
The cops are not far behind me.
You think they won't shoot you if--
Okay, forget it. I don't have time for this.
Well, that was nice of him
to give me the bullets,
but considering how plentiful those
are, plus he held out on the drugs,
I think that makes us even.
[manhacks whirring]
That's not a happy sound.
They're not even that fast.
You are no match against me and
your nemesis: the chainlink fence.
They're probably using a simple AI:
just fly at anything human-shaped
that shows up in infrared.
I'm not even sure if they can process
corners but why learn the hard way?
WOW! Did they blow themselves up?
How did they set that on fire?
I'm not impressed by these things. I
think they just fly in a straight line.
All that technology going
into something stupid.
I mean, sure, they're dangerous
but not very effective.
Okay, check the corners...!
If your top-end robotic assault device can
be defeated with a baseball bat every time,
well that kind of says it all, doesn't it?
Okay, I'll take a few more
bullets since you insist.
But yeah, the engineering
behind that isn't lost on me,
I don't see anyone. Seems calm.
I'm walking through the door--God dammit.
I'd rather be theorizing! The
expectations are so different.
[manhack whirring]
Oop! Now I'm a street physicist.
Okay, wait. Let's see this. Let's see this.
Yep! Straight line right at the fence!
Yeah, keep coming, I'm here!
I've got the bullets! Let's do this!
Yeah! Let's get this out of the way!
Any more? I'm happy to shoot more robots
that can't hurt me. That's not a problem.
Okay, I'm opening the door.
I'm walking through the door.
I SAID, "I'M WALKING THROUGH THE DOOR!"
I guess they ran out of manhacks. Good.
Yeah, being a street physicist is
kind of a downgrade from where I was.
It's mostly just kinetic
energy and collisions.
So where do I--? Hey, I
think I'll shut the door?
That should send them
back to the drawing board.
I'd feel better about this route if I
could've stayed underground the whole time.
Isn't that the point? To not
be seen? I'm really acing that.
Oh! Here we go! It would be nice to
throw them off my trail for once.
They probably don't expect me to climb
into a ventilation shaft. I wouldn't.
That's never really been
a lifestyle choice...
...so much as a necessity.
I swear, I haven't seen
one fork in the path--
AH! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!
PIECE OF SHIT, OVER-ENGINEERED
ROBOT RAT TRAP...!
THERE'S NO OPENING! IT REALLY WAS
JUST SITTING HERE TO KILL RATS!
Yeah, let's throw in AI, propulsion
system, gyroscopes, infrared sensors,
and some next-gen battery tech
in there so we can kill rats.
This had to be a Department of Defense
contract. It's got all the signs.
[lock jiggles]
Oh, come ON!
All this ammo lying around. I
still haven't figured that out.
I figure this must be
somebody's dream come true:
Not being able to walk for five minutes
without tripping over a canister of bullets.
Not sure who or why though.
Is this a dungeon? Maybe.
This is Europe...or Russia.
So yeah, I guess manhacks are effective
if you're spread prone in a vent and
have trouble moving both your arms.
For all I know, Black Mesa developed these,
That's okay. I think I'm
going half deaf by now anyway.
Boy, they're on my ASS, huh!
That guy was, what, a minute behind me?
Wait, the door's still shut. Did he do
that? Or did he come up from the bottom?
Okay, I don't see anyone.
Hmm. Could he fit through there?
Well, I'll just take things nice and easy.
"No, Gordon, people aren't
flying down from the sky
"to come kill you like some sort of
fallen angel! You're just being paranoid!"
Yeah, who am I to argue with dead people?
This is just what the doctor
ordered for my itchy trigger finger.
Now it doesn't need to twitch so much.
Hup! Yeah, more! Join the
club! This is an open invite.
I get the feeling that's going to
be my answer to a lot of questions.
So this is a dead end?
But this is the only way.
Is there a trampoline I'm
supposed to bounce out of here on?
Why would there be all this
infrastructure just to lead to nothing?!
It's all barred off! What the fuck?!